Dr Mosi's Kraal

The Phiri Deception II

2009-08-18T19:48:00.001Z

Click here for the story so far....

...or enjoy the abstract... errr i mean summary...

A high-tech spy / assassin type movie is being shot in Zambia. The plot is that the government is using an assassin called Tembo to kill one of their former agents, M. Phiri. Phiri has been spotted at Milky Lane in Manda Hill and Tembo rushes there to locate him...

Malcolm Phiri gets his regular vanilla cone with chocolate dip. As always the chocolate doesn't cool fast enough and drips on his hand. He licks it off, chocolate is chocolate, doesn't matter where you get it from. He walks out and proceeds to the Game store. Seeing the Barclays ATM reminds him that he only has 40 pin on him. Petrol for two days will leave no change from that. So he stands in the queue and gets to the ATM. Puts his card in and wonders if he'll ever see it again... The ATM informs him politely that there are no advice slips available. Hopefully there's some cash available. Luckily a mix of newly minted 50- and 20,000 bills come out of the machine... and the card pops out too. Malcolm wonders why it always feels like winning the slots in Vegas when this process goes well.

In the meantime Tembo rushes up the stairs by O'Hagens. The smell of fresh shepherd's pie brings him back to the days when he was dined by benefactors. And then those happy memories are obliterated as he runs into a cloud of smoke. The usual 'young gun' crowd is hanging out by the stairs, puffing on their cancer sticks. Coughing, Tembo makes it through the smoke and gets obstructed by the tables that line the stores. The crowds at this time... and it looks like - in addition to every flavour of food - every flavour of human in Lusaka is at Manda Hill. Pushing through the crowd, Tembo makes it to the outside of Milky Lane. Phiri could be anywhere. Using all of his police skills, Tembo spots a free chair amid the melee and sits in it. All these people... rushing past... they don't know that the future of the country depends on Phiri being eliminated.

Phiri walks to his friend's car that he's borrowing for some time. Phiri's own car was hit from behind and is doing the requisite time at a body shop just opposite Arrackan Barracks on Burma Road. The place looked shady, but that was all the 'accidenter' could afford. It was either this shop or drive around with a big dent in the car and let the other guy go to jail for a couple of hours until he bribed himself out, or pulled some strings. At least the perpetrator had offered to wait around while they fixed the car. Apparently he'd left his car unattended at the shop before and... well... it wound up missing a few mirrors and the odd alternator or so when he got back. The garage fixes things but they don't do security.

Malcolm gets into the borrowed car and starts to reverse, braking centimetres from a car that was about to hit him. He uses the 'minibus' technique to join the stream of cars passing by, inching a little more and more until the cars coming have to swerve. Bastards still won't stop. Eventually he moves just enough to where the silver Land Cruiser bearing down on him feared rolling over when it swerved and stopped. Success! Phiri sets off on the long wait to the Manda Hill gates. Why don't these guys build a couple more entries and exits from this place ? Oh yeah... they didn't get planning permission. Probably didn't fill the forms out in triplicate at the City Council, or made someone angry. After a lifetime of moving forward, he finally gets to the lights. A lady stands by his car asking for money... he refuses and she moves on. A youngster tries the same... for mealie meal, he says. The smell of glue wafts over Phiri. This young man could be working instead of begging, there are so many jobs now with the minibuses but this glue sniffing addiction has made him lose all his self-respect. The light changes, finally, and Phiri turns on to Great East Road going towards Addis Ababa, the road, not the city. "When will our people stop having to beg?" he thinks. Maybe it's a national illness... this culture of aid. Maybe Dambisa Moyo makes a lot of sense. It took Rozalla to remind us that everybody's free to feel good... and it takes a Moyo to come along and tell us the freedom is not free.

To be continued...

Click here for Part I of the Phiri Deception....

Driving Lusaka

2009-01-28T07:34:00.000Z

My favourite topic... driving in Lusaka... fraught with hazards, it's truly punctuated equilibrium in action... only the fittest survive to drive another day. It does keep you glued to the seat with both hands on the wheel at the 10 and 2 o'clock positions... just like the driving instructor said. There are multiple dangers and it is definitely not for people without quick reflexes. In fact, I'm about to market Lusaka driving as alternative training for table tennis and badminton players to improve their reflexes. There are multiple dangers on the road that anyone thinking of driving here has to be aware of, from the potholes to random people jumping in front of the car. I'll begin with the pothole.

Aaah the pothole, it's been a favoured sqatter on Lusaka roads since time immemorial. It was so ubiquitous that people avoided the roads entirely and drove on the sidewalks. It was such an example of the failure of government that the opposition used it in advertisements prior to elections. After the opposition won, they continued to leave the potholes in place just to remind the people how bad things were in the previous regime. And the opposition has won every election since, so I figure they have no reason, really, to fix potholes.

Minibuses... known affectionately as 'matatus' in Kenya and the harbingers of death in Lusaka. These contraptions, sometimes held together just by cello tape and faith, carry commuters throughout the city. They often have slogans on the back, such as "My lord does not sleep," "Jesus saves" and such-like. I used to wonder why they were so religious, but no longer. They really want your last memories in life to be those of God as you plough into the back when they make one of their sudden stops to pick up some passenger. The aforesaid passengers of course are too lazy to walk to the nearest bus stop which may be just about 400 metres away. (It may be noted that the world record for 400 meter sprint is 43.18 seconds, held by Michael Johnson of the United States). Of course if you don't smash into the backs of these buses, you may hit their nose. A strategy that works for the minibuses to re-enter the road after an unscheduled stop is to slowly work their noses onto the road as each car whizzes by. There comes a time when enough of the front of the bus is on the road that the next car driving by will stop to let the bus back in. It's also possible that the religious slogans are on because the bus drivers are saving the world. They do drive like they have to get to the other end of the city in the next 2 minutes to avoid major catastrophe. Picture this, a long line of automobiles waiting on the road for a light to change to green. We're sitting there, inside the automobiles, cursing the lights and the authorities who refused to make an extra lane to cater for the traffic. We're still patiently waiting even though we're late for an appointment at the Brown Frog or at Rhapsody's. Almost every single time, one looks to the side and sees one or more of these blue buses, the saviours of mankind, rushing ahead on the sidewalk. "So, are we stupid, waiting in line," pointedly asks my wife. I don't think she's convinced by my arguement that the drivers have to be somewhere in the next couple of minutes, or somebody will die. The other drivers all know this too, as they let the buses in at the head of the line... well, maybe it's just the nose-into-road technique. In short, if the traffic police got serious about having minibus drivers pay fines for violations, the entire Zambian budget could be balanced in about a year.

Pedestrians and cyclists - Automobile traffic in Lusaka seems to have increased every time I get the mini-minivan out (it's a Toyota Raum - yeah, I didn't know they existed until I got here either). This means that if you want to turn then you have a couple of seconds where there's enough time to jump on the road. Invariably, that's the time when pedestrians and cyclists will choose to cross the road right in front of you. They won't go around you so that you can turn, they will cross in front of you right as you want to move forward. It's common to see cyclists cycling against the flow of traffic. One would think if they cycled with the traffic, at least if they got hit, they would just accelerate forward. If they get hit head on, they'd just fly off the bike and crash into the car. Pedestrians at night... man... those are deadly. They wear non-reflective clothes and jump onto the road giving you just enough time to stand on the brakes or risk ploughing into them. And they won't even cross the road straight across... normally they do it in a diagonal fashion so they spend more time on the road than necessary. Are they asking for death? Who knows... I hope I'll never be the one to grant them their wish.

SUV's and other tall cars. Almost every government vehicle seems to be some sort of SUV. Pajeros, Land Cruisers rule the roost here. Most of the time, these guys will come stand right next to you so that you can't see the oncoming traffic. Now if you want to turn, you have to wait for both lanes to clear or risk being a pappadum on the road... usually if the SUV moves then you are safe to move as well. This is mainly a problem when you have to turn left... the right side is obscured by the big car and they wait for both sides of the road to clear before they can turn. The cost of 3 of those cars can pay for a 96-capillary sequencer.... which I could desparately use right now. Of course with SUVs the potholes are just gentle dips in the road... so why fix them?

I have found some Lusaka drivers to be extraordinarily well-mannered. They stop and let you through if you've been waiting for a while, they tell you to overtake them if you want to go faster, and flash their lights if you're driving with your lights on. They also flash their lights if they want to let you go through, and if they want you to stop, which gets confusing, but you get good at reading the context. I still have to figure out what some fool was doing last night flashing his or her lights behind me... the road was empty, my lights were working, and this person didn't want to overtake when I slowed down and moved into the other lane. Maybe someday the reasonw will come to me.

It just came to me, no wonder Satwant Singh "the flying Sikh" was All Africa rally champion eight times... he trained on Lusaka roads.

Why blog about Africa?

2008-12-05T22:46:00.005Z

Lova tagged me to produce a magnum opus on why I blog about Africa..... naah just kidding, he was hoping I'd go twitterific on him and use just 140 characters :)

1. I am African. Well... not officially... I spent 6 years in Zambia growing up... then left to study... then came back to help with the HIV situation... so I feel African even though I'm here as a guest of Mr Banda's government. The old saying applies here, "You can take the man out of the bush but you can never take the bush out of the man."

2. Before I met my amazing son and my incredible wife (yes, in that order,) my concept of "home" was tied to Lusaka. Of course, when in Lusaka, home magically changed to New Delhi. When in New Delhi, home changed to Kerala. Now it's a bit more complicated, I have to add, home is where the wife and son are.

3. Non-Africans still don't know that Africa is not a country. Seriously... it's a continent, with many countries, and it has the greatest amount of genetic diversity between people. Zambia, which has a land area about the same size as South Carolina in the USA, has about 80 tribes with as many languages. So there's this knowledge gap about Africa that bloggers such as myself try to fill.

4. I love the natural parks here where an existence without much human intervention is still possible. It's great to see things almost the way they were before people started enforcing their dominance. The Mosi-o-Tunya (the smoke that thunders, also known as Victoria Falls) is spectacular, with or without water. On the Zambian side you can see it almost as David Livingstone did back in the day. Now they've added some 'viewing areas' and such... but it's still fairly untouched. Zambia - the real Africa.

5. Now that I've gushed on about the beauty here, I'm going to do a shameless plug for my photo site where there are lots of photos from Zambia. (Reload this page to see different photos).

6. Ubuntu... not just my favourite computer operating system... you can see the spirit of ubuntu here - people believe "I am, because you are." No conversation starts off without enquiring about the other's health and well being and people are very polite. Incidents of mass violence are non-existent. The last time I remember something like this is back in 1991 or 1992 when there was no food in the provinces, people were literally starving, so they stood by the side of the road and threw stones at cars. There was a government change very quickly and things settled down. Even during the previous two elections, when one major leader was using an anti-foriegner platform to garner votes, there was no violence after the results were out. Congratulations, Zambia!

I'm not sure if this is a manifestation of ubuntu, but random people will come up and ask for sums of money for a particular purpose... "I need 2 pin for talk time," is a common one I've heard... of course the classic "how about my weekend" or "what about christmas" is ever popular. My policy is that if they've helped me I pay up but otherwise I say I'm broke (which I usually am... postdoc after all). I haven't yet tried to go up to somebody and ask them for money for something... maybe I should.

7. The region is reeling under the effect of HIV. Thanks to President Bush and the USA, there's a lot of money being pumped in to provide free antiretroviral therapy to anybody who needs it. Based on what I've seen here, the epidemic is spreading by going from husbands to wives and wives to children. Women's empowerment is the only way to stop the spread. They have to be able to say "no" to their husbands. Because that is going to take a long time, other options such as anti-HIV creams are being tested. Hopefully something will come in time.

What will happen if the USA decides to pull out the money it's spending on healthcare for Africans? As far as I know, the people who are on therapy now will stop getting medication and the whole system will fall apart. Governments here have to find some way of financing treatment and / or increase effective prevention mechanisms. So far I haven't seen any government initiative to address this important question. After all, especially with the financial troubles now, how long are US citizens going to let governments fund the health of people abroad in countries that they probably can't even place on a map?

Well... so if you feel like taking up the tag, consider yourself tagged... if you don't blog about Africa, then just answer the question, "Why blog about the place where you live?"

The Phiri Deception

2008-09-28T20:11:00.008Z

I can just imagine if some kinda hi-tech assasin / spy movie was to be shot in Zambia. It would go something like this:

The government have set up an agency of trained killers. The killers are supposed to get their info by mobile phone. Now, the agency wants to kill one of their former officers M Phiri. Phiri has been spotted by an agency operative who is cleverly disguised as a street kid. The operative pulls out his mobile phone and takes a photo of Phiri. Now he sends it via MMS to Tembo... or at least tries to. Telecel, Celtel, Zain, or whatever that phone company is called today pops up with a message saying that's not possible. So our intrepid street kid uploads the photo to flickr by going on the internet and SMS's Tembo the URL. This is the signal for Tembo to track down and kill Phiri. Tembo is on the MTN network. He tries to get to the URL. MTN says, "connection error." Tembo cancels, tries again. His phone asks him for permission to go on the internet. He allows it. MTN doesn't... internet busy. Tembo SMS's the street kid for a location. He'll get the photo on the go when MTN comes back up again.

Tembo gets the message. Phiri was spotted outside Manda Hill. He runs to his trusty Toyota Corolla and starts it up. The car doesn't start. No fuel. Since petrol prices had shot up to K9500 per litre (about 3 dollars) the department used up its quota in the first two weeks. Tembo curses and jumps out. He flags down a blue minibus. Sensing his desperation, the conductor charges him 15 pin to go the two kilometres to the Manda Hill stop. On the way the MTN finally works and Tembo gets to the flickr photo page. The photo starts loading. Tembo sees a bold head... and then the phone gets stuck. MTN disconnected. So Tembo starts his Opera mini again... this time he sees Phiri's photo.

The bus hits the normal congestion at the Zain intersection just before Manda Hill. A million people want to turn into that place and there's only one lane, so it takes about half an hour. The bus finally drops Tembo off at Manda Hill. He quickly turns his head and scans for Phiri. Phiri is nowhere to be seen. So Tembo calls the street kid. Trial one: All circuits are busy... please try your call later. Trial two: engaged. Trial three: the phone rings. Street kid says he saw Phiri go into Milky Lane. Tembo races across the street amidst the normal cacophony of horns blaring and brakes squealing.

...to be continued...

"To those who attended my funeral, I say thank you"

2008-09-05T13:52:00.003Z

-Dr Levy Mwanawasa, President of Zambia, in the public part of his will.

It's been an eventful week in Zambia. President Mwanawasa was buried in Lusaka following a nationwide tour after his death. Part of his will, a message to the nation, was made public yesterday. He explains that he has made enemies due to his strong stance against corruption and misuse of public funds.

It's the first time that Zambia is losing a head of state, the previous two Presidents are still alive and well, and I wish them a long healthy life. The Zambian armed forces handled the funeral arrangements professionally. Leaders of surrounding countries came, it was nice to see Mbeki (South Africa), Mugabe and Tsvangirai (Zimbabwe), Ravonamalala (Madagascar), Kagame (Rwanda), Kabila (DR Congo), Khame (Botswana), among others.

According to the constitution, Presidential elections have to take place within 90 days of the death of the sitting President. The candidates who are running for the Presidency are supposed to be announced today but haven't heard anything yet. Hope whoever comes in makes it easier to do business, and liberalises the telecom sector. Lower petrol prices would be nice too (it's about 3 USD / L right now aka >10 USD / gallon). A boost in science funding would be great so that the national labs can do some research without looking for resources from other countries.

The people have taken the news maturely and there has been no violence so far. It's business as usual. Celebrations are not really taking place, and they are quite toned down as a mark of respect. The official mourning period ends on Monday.

Sad...

2008-05-18T15:15:00.002Z

I had a conversation with a mechanic while he was working on the car. We were unable to communicate in English, so I spoke through an interpreter. (I'm paraphrasing the conversation).

Mechanic: So what do you do when people are not running into your car?
Dr Mosi: Well, I'm a scientist, I do research into HIV.

Mechanic: So this HIV, will there ever be a cure?
Dr Mosi: Probably not. There's no cure for any illness caused by a virus, not even the common cold. You can't kill something that is not alive. Bacteria are alive, so antibiotics can kill them. But I'm hoping that there will be a vaccine soon. That's how smallpox was eradicated and polio is not a huge problem any more.

Mechanic: I think I have HIV
Dr Mosi: Did you go for a test? You know testing is free and anonymous. So is the counselling and treatment.

Mechanic: You know, people here are very poor. Women... they need to eat... so they ask for 20-pin [20,000 Kwacha, about US$5.00]. And you can't give them 20-pin for nothing isn't it?
Dr Mosi: But do you at least use protection?

Mech: No.. i'm paying 20-pin, there's no way.
Dr Mosi: But that is the same as taking a loaded gun, putting it to your forehead and shooting. Actually it's worse than that, it's like taking the gun, shooting the people who are closest to you, and then killing yourself. because your wife, your girlfriend, will get it... and if your kids don't get it they will be on the streets when you pass away. No home, no chance of education, employment. I don't agree with your approach there. And it's an entirely preventable disease.

Interpreter: But is there any advantage to getting treatment?
Dr Mosi: Yes... you can live for a long time... in that time you can ensure your kids get an education, maybe get better jobs. Also, if you're on medication the chances to transmit the virus are far less, so you're helping other people out too. And it's free - your cost is just transport to get to the clinics. That 20-pin is more than enough for that. I would tell everyone to get tested at the very least, then at least you know... and can protect yourself and the ones you love. Also... about 1 in 6 people in this country is HIV positive... and the rate of infections has not gone down. So you're doing your country a great favour by limiting the spread. You guys went to the Zambia-Swaziland game, right? I'm assuming that you were supporting Zambia. How about supporting your country by not killing your near and dear ones? It'll be a great act of patriotism.

It's really sad that even after so many years of HIV prevention messages it doesn't seem to have gotten to the target audience. Maybe that's why the rate of new infections is still high. For a disease that's entirely preventable... I don't know why it's not on everybody's lips. Maybe if you have to worry about what you're eating the next meal it's not so much on your mind, but the guy I spoke to had a regular job and didn't have to worry about that. He even had more than needed to spend on 'extra-curricular' entertainment - sports, drinks, and prostitution. So... maybe it's not poverty, it's just education.

[The photo is by me, entitled "Who knows the way out?", thought it was appropriate.]