The other day I had occasion to think about how one would go about proposing to a scientist. This is what I came up with.
Dear PZV [use initials]
I have completed part of my life cycle but feel empty due to the lack of a genome. I have interacted with many others, but my affinity towards them was low. When I interacted with you I recognised you specifically as being perfect for me. Please come through the portal and take up your residence inside my capsid. I promise to keep you safe from threats such as antibodies and complement. I can offer you the world, we can interact with multiple hosts in Asia, Africa, Europe, or anywhere there are any living things. If you love extreme sports, we can hang out in hot sulphur vents, under the Antarctic ice sheets, or deep in the ocean. If you love risk and are selfless, we can always be in lab, sacrificing our lives for the good of humanity. I don't mind where it is, as being with you completes my life cycle. Let us get together and assemble progeny.
There are no guarantees for this working, so don't blame me if your would-be fiancee throws the ring back and runs away for dear life. Of course the sure fire way to get a scientist would be to promise funding their pet projects with grants for the rest of their lives :) Then I guarantee she will never leave.
I Never Ask For It, Montreal
1 week ago