20 January 2007

News of the world

I've been very busy and nothing interesting happened outside of research. I did attempt to follow the news, reading a few snippets here and there. Since all the items got muddled in my head, the following report of the state of the world may have slight inaccuracies.

China used a missile to test its asteroid-killing functionality and the US got all cross about it because China shouldn't have the capability to be the saviour of the world in case an asteroid comes close. So now the U.S. plans to be the first country to send a manned rocket to blow up any asteroids that come close to earth. Before they blow it up they will mine any valuable minerals out of the asteroid to pay for the mission. A rescue capsule is only available for the minerals. They are attempting to recruit some suicide bombers for this wanton destruction job.

The company formerly known as Apple computers (now replaced by an unpronounceable symbol of a quarter-eaten apple) will release a phone called iPhone. That was all that was missing from the iLineup... except of course the iKill for when people realise they cannot afford the iPhone, even after promising a lifelong contract to the mobile phone company Cingular. Now if only Steve Jobs could live up to his name and provide a 6-figure iJob so I could have the promised iLife they keep advertising.

Living the iLife on video camera seems to be a good way to resurrect one's popularity. Actress Shilpa Shetty who disappeared from the movie scene after Baazigar got abused on reality TV by her housemates in the UK. Apparently this was an insult to the Indian government, not just for Shilu. They are protesting more about this incident than the IC814 plane hijacking orchestrated by the Taliban under orders from the Pakistani army which resulted in the death of one person and the release of several mass murderering terrorists from jail.

Speaking of death, now it is possible to commit suicide by water intoxication. A lady lost her life by drinking >2L of water in a short amount of time and avoiding the bathroom completely. She was not warned of this possibility before taking on all responsibility for injuries occured as a result of the competition. And for the radio station sponsoring this lunacy, your sins can be forgiven easily, read on...

Coming soon to a river near you - sin all you want - just make sure that you do a head dip in the river and all is washed off. You can start from scratch. Of course, if you don't contract something deadly from the river itself by catching any of the sins floating off the other million people taking a bath with you. OK the washed off sins are more likely to infect you in the form of some bug.

I did not call anyone a fag (I only call cigarettes aka cancer sticks fags, I'm all for having more gay men on the planet, reduces competition for ladies you see). Luckily I don't play a hot shot surgeon on TV so don't have to apologise for 'the most gratuitious use of the word fag in real life.'

8 comments:

Onkar said...

I think the lady drank 2 gallons of water.

video said...

I just wanted to say that the quarter eaten apple rocks!

lova said...

I am not quite familiar with the terms that the Jade girl used on the Big Brother incident. Maybe a UK thing. However, this one is a head scracher: "what I said was racist but I am not." From the school of thought of Kramer I assume....

Rajesh said...

iPhone - still trying to settle down amidst all hypes.

Lady who took part in the competition "hold your wee for a wii" - well what can I say, sad. Onkar is right about "2 gallons" but then >2L makes sense too ;)

Mosilager said...

onkar - you're right, I used a number from some wiki entry - the absolute number depends on state of hydration and such like.

video - sure, sure... I don't like the apple user interface, never have, probably never will. it's just not user-friendly and seems extremely sluggish at the best of times (and I've been using apples since Apple IIe). I also don't like the milky white colour of their computers - reminds me of spilt milk. and the one button mouse is definitely very sucky.
i think i like KDE the most as far as default window managing systems are concerned.
XP is ok because I can customise it very easily to make it look and behave like i want. and it runs everything i want it to. So till some linux programmer comes up with a good citation manager, XP it will have to be...

lova - yeah that's right. it's weird though that some indian girl got the whole of the uk wondering if they were racist or not deep down. wish the leaders did more about getting basic necessities to the people rather than worrying about if some rich girl got insulted in the UK or not. i would take some racist insults for a few thousand pounds sterling.

rajesh - I guess we'll find out when it's finally released. or probably not considering that it costs about as much as rent and they're sure to have all sorts of technology stopping the user from using it as they wish. "Protection" indeed...

Isha Reddy said...

you beat me to bitching about not being able to afford an iphone.. i was going to do that on my blog :) hehe... :) .. touch wood about that ijob with seven or eight if not six figures ;)

Amrita said...

"That was all that was missing from the iLineup... except of course the iKill for when people realise they cannot afford the iPhone, even after promising a lifelong contract to the mobile phone company Cingular. Now if only Steve Jobs could live up to his name and provide a 6-figure iJob so I could have the promised iLife they keep advertising."

LOL!!!! hehehe...
That totally cracked me up!! Very funny ...
I only wish I could afford the iPhone

Mosilager said...

amrita :D thanks for all your comments on the blog today! wonderful to know that you are reading it!